The Case of the Rubber Band

 

A week ago, Unions Springs Baptist Church in Randolph, Alabama hosted its annual community cookout. The church generally held it in July prior to the Fourth, but extreme July heat dictated a change of venue choosing September 26.

The fellowship is an outside event near a lake under a huge circus tent. There was a general worry. Days prior to the feast central Alabama was under an extreme drought and temperatures in triple digits. God blessed with rain and cooler weather arriving on the Wednesday before the shindig. Ain’t God good? He knows what He is doing is something that all of us should remember when things are not going as we planned.

Planning is a vital and statistic. The purpose of this event is evangelism. The philosophy of evangelism is event with a purpose and target. There is a Baptist belief: “If you feed them, they will come.” The motto of most Baptist eating is “Meet and Eat.”

The menu this year was “whole hog” barbeque, green beans, sweet potatoes, slaw, barbeque chicken quarters, and homemade ice cream accompanied with assorted deserts. We had a special treat this year as Jose and Tanya prepared authentic fresh tacos. Delicious I might add!

There were multiple people preparing the food, serving, and sharing. It is a big event with live music. There is not enough space to name all that helped.

My brothers, David and Glenn are great cooks. Mama taught us to cook saying, “You might marry a girl that can’t.” Glenn and his wife Dawn that he led in this event. Glenn always cooks a “whole hog.” When he and some help place it on the table, he places an apple its mouth and decorates around with vegetables. Folks take lots of pictures and consume lots of pig.

My brother David helps them but always cooks his favorite barbeque chicken quarters too. This year the chicken quarters experienced a slight delay. David’s father-in-law is senior advisor who has years of experience cooking the delicious fowl.

Whereas Glenn cooked the hog most of the night, James, David, and Roddy started early that morning. Retrieving the cooker, an old oil tank converted to a grill, several things occurred. First, there was a flat on one of the tires of the homemade apparatus. Finding a compressor David aired the tire. Next, using a golf cart the towed it to a specific location to start the process.

Trying to raise a door to place wood and charcoal David could not lift the door. Thinking that the rust had the hinges welded together he lubricated the hinges but could not open the door. James being the supervisor informed David that he had to remove a rubber band.

David looked and did not see one. David thought that the hinges needed some good old redneck ingenuity and proceeded to pound the hinges with a hammer. The hammer is a genuine fix all tool. David tried again and the door opened a little. Roddy and David both took time to thud the hinges to no avail. James repeated, “You got to take off the rubber band.”

David and Roddy just thought that James was having a “senior” moment. Roddy told David that he would get his acetenyl cutting torch to heat or cut the hinges. David tried again and opened the door a little more when he saw a rubber strap on the inside of the door. David thought, who puts a rubber strap on the inside of a cooker.

With each disappearing chicken quarter people snickered as the tale of the rubber band circulated and embellished to the gathering of the meet and eat evangelist event. It was an international event in rural Alabama. Life is better if we allow God to work. He wants us to plant seeds, cultivate, and reap.

“For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.” James 4:15 KJV

“Yet they did not listen or incline their ears, but stiffened their necks, that they should not hear, nor take correction.” Jeremiah 17:23 KJV

“So Moses hearkened to the voice of his father in law, and did all that he had said.” Exodus 18:24

What's Your Nickname

Men have comradely and when grouped together, give one another nicknames. Elijah P. Brown says that men in mining, military, and lumber give one another names. He notes that primitive people gave one another names such as Buffalo Face, Kill Deer, Eagle Eye, and Sitting Bull. Nicknames tell something about a person’s characteristics, bodily features, or dispositions.

I had a nickname or two in school. In the sixth grade, a classmate saw the Hollywood gossip columnist Hedda Hopper on television. Hedda was the mother of William Hopper who played Paul Drake, Perry Mason’s private detective. Hedda wore large hats. My classmate thought I might be kin to her and it would be neat to call me “Hedda.”  Today when someone calls, “Hey, Hedda,” I know it is a classmate. Others would call me Hippity Hopper, Grasshopper, Clem Kadiddlehopper, Clodhopper, Peewee, and Bubba.

Having spent most of my adult life in the cement industry, I worked with men who had nicknames and I acquired a nickname or two there myself. I worked with Meathead, Big Ugly, Round Head, Danny Mac, Bubba, Slim, Smiley, Smithy, Wild Bill, Big Dave, Red, Cotton, Radio, Reron, Grunt, and Gourd Head. There were supervisors named Buffy, Squirrelly, Snake Doctor, Killer, and Pawpaw. There are many more but some are inappropriate for this devotion.

The assistant plant manager called me Peewee. One friend called me Barbara Ann. Another called me Whopper. After I became a pastor, they called me Preacher. The name that I became the one most remembered is Maytag. It came during the time I negotiated contracts between the company and the union. I got it, not because of the dependability of a washing machine, but because I was a good “agitator.” 

Others called me the “Great Mediator” because of the hundreds of grievances I settled, the dozens of arbitrations I reconciled, and four contracts I bargained. When I hear “Old Maytag,” I know it is from someone that worked at the cement plant or someone that agrees with the nickname.

While at the University of Montevallo I earned the nickname Booby. During the first dad of 
Spanish class Dr. Mercedes Turon called roll and called be Roberto. I replied "here" and told her my name was Bobby, not Robert. She responded, "Roberto is Bobby." I asked if she would call be Bobby. She said, "Booby." The whole class erupted in laughter and the name stuck.

While in Seminary my preacher friends would call me Rabbi. Not many of my preacher friends admitted they had nicknames. They tried to be more professional. Some would call me 
Robert or Bob and I would respond with mamma named me Bobby.

I have been called various names, but I will not repeat them but leave them to your imagination.

Fathers give their children nicknames. My daddy called me “Shag” after the character on Scooby Doo. He said that my shaggy hair and few little whiskers made me look like Shag. He called my one of my brothers “Lard” and my sister “Sister.”  He called my brothers and me “Bocephus” most of the time. Daddy also had some that I have to censor. One brother thought he was oriental because would say to him “Damit son” most of the time.

In my family today Andy is “Andy Pandy,” Angela is “Angel” or “Little Lulu” and Aaron is “Doodle Bug” or “Precious Life,” and I am “Dad” or sometimes “The Big Man.”  Now that I have grandchildren, I am Poppy.

God gave Jesus a nickname or two. Elijah P. Brown says the Bible has 256 names for Jesus. These names reveal something about the life, the work, and the nature of our Lord.

  For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, the everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6 KJV).

 

 

 

When You’re Smiling

“Why are you smiling?” I get asked that often especially if I am sitting alone. I answer, “I had a personal thought that made me smile.” The personal thought could be one in the past, at the moment, or something in the future.

I had a deacon that came to me with a complaint. Usually when a deacon tells the pastor that “we need to talk” it is not good. It means that the pastor has not followed the perceived mold standardized by the powers that control the church. Did I just write that?

He wanted to know if I was ever serious. I responded, “As serious as a heart attack.” He had a complaint from a church member that sad when she discussed the sickness of her mother to me that I smiled. I guess it was the wrong facial expression.

When the deacon finished his grievance with me, I smiled and said, “It takes less muscles to smile than it did to have the grim reapers face.”  I inherited the smile/crooked grin from my mom.

What he did not know was I smiled to keep from crying. I replied to his never serious face tirade by sharing a few moments of my life with him. I said, “In a marriage and family class at the University of Montevallo I took a test to check my well-being. I experienced the death of my dad and mom while attending the university, both passing before I graduated. I experienced the layoff from a company that had never had a layoff in the history of the plant. I was taking fifteen hours of classes, working twenty hours a week part time at minimum wage in the university carpenter shop, married with two children, no insurance, and a pregnant wife. I was a bi-vocational pastor at the time. The test revealed that I was a prime candidate for a heart attack. Yes, I know what it is to be serious. I smile because I am following God’s call on my life.”

The deacon stood before in shock. I told him that I would talk with the complaining parishioner. Most Baptist church members look as though they are made at the world. We have an expression in Chilton County, Alabama for such folks. It goes like this, “The look like a jackass eating saw briars.” More people are attracted to a smiling person than those I described. I’m smiling now and hope you are too.

Another time I was reprimanded for being too humorous when preaching. Some “stick in the mud” said the pulpit was no place for humor. Early in my ministry a lady told me that I would be successful in preaching because I have a great balance between humor and seriousness. She said it was a gift from God.

After the reprimand, I lost my gift of humor for a short period of time. One day in seminary the preaching professor asked this question. “Ladies and gentlemen why is it that you try to imitate such and such preacher when God calls you for who you are and the gifts he has blessed you. Be who you are.” I rebounded and used the gift of humor and regained my smiling.”

I have learned in life that people do not like to see happy people and will do what they can to still the joy out of life. A smile can calm a fear, help a hurt, and encourage healing. I have had plenty of people tell me that they were going to “wipe that grin ff my face.” I still have it especially when time are hard and hurt is great.

Yeah, I have dark and sad moments like we all do. I remember momma and when she was sad. She got her guitar and started singing. She would begin by singing a sad Hank Williams tearjerker and before long she would be singing a Ray Stevens laughter songs.

When my Aunt Annie was in the hospital, Lisa and I paid her a visit. She was my favorite aunt because she could make you laugh and smile. We knew she did not have long, and I wanted to make her smile. I said, “I love you Aunt Annie.” As a nurse turned to her side and I sang Aunt Annie a song that momma and she sang. It goes like this. “I see your hindy so white and shiny, it makes me giggle to see it wiggle.” She gave me a big smile. Those were the last words I said to her.

Jesus had an attractive smile. I say that because children loved Him and He them. He loved His disciples

 “These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.” John 15:11 KJV

Our heavenly Father smiled and encouraged us to smile.

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Psalm 30:5

The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.” Numbers 6:25-26 KJV

A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Proverbs 13:15 KJV

Louis Armstrong sings:

When you're smilin', when you're smilin'
The whole world smiles with you
When you're laughin', when you're laughin'
The sun comes shinin' through

SMILE

A Helper

Growing up I learned to help daddy. Being poor we did our own work because we could not afford to hire someone. Dad would teach me about tools and repairing broken equipment. He expected me to identify a tool or part when he asked for it.

One night stands out. Dad was working our 1958 Chevy and told me to get a part from the cabinet on our back porch. I was clueless so I asked momma to help me. She was clueless as well. The best I could remember I think it was a part for the distributor. I searched the cabinet and retrieved a part. When I gave it to dad, he was not happy.

He wanted to know what they were teaching me at school. I told him, “Not mechanicing (a Chilton County Alabama term).” School had changed since his time in school. He would not believe the things schools teach today. Granted there are trade schools that teach mechanics.

Through the years I learned from dad and could hand him the proper part or tool before he asked for it. It was fun watching dad react when I would hand the correct tool when he had asked in error. I thank God that dad taught me many things that I never had to hire someone to perform.

When I was twelve, Bill Langston, a carpenter, asked me to help him building houses. I helped him for years as he taught me the principles of construction. It was a wonderful job to watch a house being built from the ground to completion. I still love the smell of cut lumber.

I have spent most of my adulthood being a helper. My first job after graduation was making boxes for Keystone Metal Molding. It was humiliating for an honor student and Beta Club president to be a helper to someone that never graduated but that is life when you start working.

I bid on a die setter position and became another helper. I can honestly say that die setting in giant 150-to-200-ton presses was one of the best jobs I ever had. The transformation of rolled aluminum becoming a shiny chrome part for automobiles was fascinating.

I became a machinist helper and Robert Smitherman taught me operate laths, sharpening drill bits, and how to work using all those algebraic equations that I told Miss Harvey, my algebra teacher, that I would never use. It was amazing to watch metal turning in a lath become a vital piece in machinery.

Working in the cement industry I was a kiln burner helper for A D Gore. A D taught me how to operate, or burn, the cement kilns. A D was the best burner at the plant and was a very good teacher. He became a supervisor and I eventually became a kiln operator.

One of the things that I have done as a helper was to pull pranks on those I helped. When working in the carpenter shop attending school at the University of Montevallo, I helped Bailey Santa Cruz. We became great friends and I would pull tricks like giving him the wrong tool for a certain job. He would give me a sour look and shake his head. He would say. “That’s the wrong tool.” I would have this big grin as I pulled the correct tool from my back pocket and handed it to him.

When I worked in maintenance at the cement plant, I was a helper to “Cotton.” My foreman placed me with Cotton because no one could work with him. I asked, “Why me.” My foreman said, “Because you’re a preacher.”

I found Cotton to be bitter about life. I took time to listen and help him with more than maintenance. It was difficult to help him because he knew more than me. I learned to allow him to make mistakes and become frustrated then I would offer my aid. Most of the time I diagnosed his failure by watching him and figured how to solve his dilemma.

Cotton was a good teacher and after I gained his favor, I was able to help him. Our co-workers could not believe the change in him.

I have learned that is how the Comforter, helper, works in the life of a believer. I have a big grin when I think the Comforter has a sense of humor.

 

“Behold, God is mine helper: the Lord is with them that uphold my soul.” – Psalm 54:4 KJV

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.” – Psalm 121:1-2 KJV

“So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” – Hebrews 13:6 KJV

“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.” John 14:16 KJV

Passed By A Yellow Butterfly

Our world today is one of speed. Everyone wants things dome yesterday and having to wait becomes nerve racking. Waiting and taking things slowly has become a lost virtue. Sometimes we need to slow down and take the long way around the world as the recording artist Ronnie Milsap sings:

In the daily rush of things
If we stop to think it seems
We never have time alone
Doin' things we have to do
Not much time for me and you
Before we know it, it will all be gone

Let's take the long way around the world
Sharing each other as we go
Let's take the long way around the world
And let's take it real slow

Lisa and I were returning home to Alabama from Texas when the Interstate traffic slowed from eighty plus miles per hour to a crawl due to an accident. The exits were few and far between. Traveling in our Honda Civic we rolled the windows down and opened the moon roof. We were not in a hurry and were enjoying the open air. Suddenly a yellow butterfly passed us.

As Lisa drove, I laughed saying, “We’re so slow on the Interstate that a butterfly just passed us.” It wasn’t too long until a truck carrying a car passed us in the emergency lane. Traveling about a mile we passed the truck which was stopped by a state trooper and made to wait and receive a ticket.

It is not unusual in Alabama for highway lanes to close down to one lane. A sign precedes the closing stating the lane closes, must turn right. Some of these roads will have a sight stating, “merge left.” It never ceases to amaze me how local people will leave a stop light and try to outrun the car to the left knowing the lane is running out.

If the vehicle is out of state most folks will be considerate and allow the perpetrator to merge left. If the person is local, those on the left will not allow the violator to merge left and the “drag race” ensues.

Things are slow for a reason. One time a friend of mine was running late for work. There had been storms the night before. My friend, frustrated by a slow pickup raced around the pickup. She realized that the pickup was slowing to a stop because a large tree had blown across the road. My friend ended up sideways beside the tree!

Rule of thumb is if you are late it is mathematically impossible to catch most of the time. Just accept that you are late.

Living in the rural Alabama the roads are farm-to-market with a speed limit of forty miles per hour. There is a young man that passes our house on a “cotch rocket,” a racing motorcycle, well over forty miles per hour. Everyone on our road fears that one day he is not going to make it.

This past week Lisa cooked a beef roast in a cast iron pot. She cooked it slowly all day. I will tell you that “she knocked it out of the park.” It was the best one she has ever cooked. It was delicious and the slow cooked meat was tender, the potatoes, carrots, and onions were perfect. You cannot get that in a microwave.

My old black friend Elijah J. Smith cooked the best pork ribs. His secret was he would visit three to five supermarkets to select two to three slabs of ribs. He would marinate them all night in his secret recipe and cook them over a bed of coal for six hours. He told me, “No flame.”

Smitty would bring them to work and we would slowly warm them beneath the cement kilns for supper. They were so delicious. One night Jim Tucker, another co-worker, was gnawing on a rib bone like a dog. Smitty said, “Tucker, you can have another one.” We all laughed. Yes, I gnawed the bone as did all of us. They were and are the best slow cooked ribs that I have ever eaten.

Lisa and I love to dance slowly in the privacy of our living room. It is a time to spend a few moments enjoying songs and each other.

Johnny Rivers has a wonderful song, Slow Dancin (’Swayin’ to the Music):

It's late at night and we're all alone,
just the music on the radio.
No one's comin', no one's gonna telephone.
Just me and you and the lights down low.
[Chorus:]
We're slow dancin', swayin' to the music.
slow dancin', just me and my girl.
Slow dancin', swayin' to the music.
no one else in the whole wide world

The song is a great testimony of spending time together. 

In our fast world it is good to slow down at times. The Bible reminds us that slow is a good attribute, a Godly one. Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. James 1:19 KJV

But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, long suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth Psalm 86:15

The Lord is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the Lord hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet. Nahum 1:3

And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. Joel 2:13

Spend time with God and meditate slowly on His Word. Take time to take the long way home and slowly dance with your spouse.