He Is Not Here

Remember those monstrosities called answering machines? You know the ones that use a cassette tape to record messages. I won one that turned out to be a hunk of junk. I think that is why I won it. I finally got rid of it when the telephone company added it as a service.

My favorite message went as follows: “Now that you have let the phone ring seven times you have awakened my dragon and if you do not leave a message, he will be very angry. I’m not here so leave a message.”

One message was, “Now that I have awakened your dragon, I know you are not home. That is a good way for people to rob you while you are way. Do not say you are not home.”

The whole answering machine evolution has given us cell phones with emails, text messaging, and leave a message. I was opponent of text messaging in the beginning, but I use us more than anything now. It is convenient and prevents one from interrupting. I think it helps with cell phone etiquette.

If you are as I am you made that important call and you reach that infernal answering machine: “To speak English press one. If you know the extension press two. If you want to speak with a representative press three. To repeat the menu, press four. To speak with an operator, press zero.

Years ago, I was representing employees at the cement plant that filed a grievance because they could not reach the plant when returning a callout phone call. This was back before the telephone companies changed to push button phones. It was difficult to press numbers on a dial-up telephone. The all-knowing human resource person gave me a smart aleck response and said he would give me the money to buy a push button phone. I replied, “You dummy the phone lines have not been updated. The lines are still pulsing dialing, and one cannot press one, two, three or four.” I told the smart aleck that “I did not fall off the turnip green truck yesterday.” The grievance was awarded to the employees.

One of the churches I had opportunity to serve had a sophisticated phone system. Churches members from that church complained to me about not being able to speak with the pastor. I admit that it was difficult to get a hearing with the pastor. There were ample people there to answer the phone, but you had to push those aggravating buttons. It remained a problem for years. People stopped trying to call or see the pastor and finally started calling me or visiting my office.

It can be troublesome trying to reach someone and not knowing what button to push or where to find a person. It can be good on occasion. When you could not call or see a person when you are angry. Things went much smoother when you had time to cool off. How about the time you made a decision? Lord changed your position and you were glad the person you were to tell was not there initially.

This past Sunday was Resurrection Sunday. Before the break of day, Mary made her way to the tomb of Jesus. She was expecting the worst. There was no way of communicating with the keepers of the dead. There was no press one to speak Arabic. No press two to speak with the gardener. No press three to speak with the stone movers.

There is a 1958 song The Angels Listened In and another in 1960's song Trouble in Paradise - Calling All Angels by the Crests. Had Mary known who was waiting at the tomb she could have called Angels that were waiting.

What she did find was an Angel waiting at the tomb. No buttons to push just a living being saying:

He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. Matthew 28:6 KJV