"Stupid People Can't Read"

THIS DOOR IS NOT A RESTROOM DOOR.  IT IS AN EMERGENCY EXIT DOOR!  It was an odd sign, especially since it had yellow safety tape all around it and a big red exit sign on it.  It even had an illuminated EXIT sign above it.  Even with all this, I could tell there was a problem.

Since you want to know, I will explain by starting this article over.  I had stopped at the Waffle House on I-59 near Ashville for dinner.  Afterwards I went across the road to a Shell station for gas.  I filled the car with gas and decided I needed a “pit stop” before continuing home.  In my haste to find the men’s room, I looked for the restroom sign.  Seeing the restroom sign, between fountain drinks and coolers of beer, I saw a square bronze plaque with men on it.  I noticed it was bronze and had a large white arrow pointing down toward it.  As I got to what I thought was the men’s restroom door, I noticed it had a poster on it.  I realized it was NOT the restroom door, and saw the men’s restroom door to the right.

Returning I had to stop and read the poster on the door at the end of the restroom hallway more closely.  What I did not see in my haste was that the white arrow pointing down had fire extinguisher printed on it and there was indeed a fire extinguisher there beside the bronze men’s sign.  The door frame had yellow safety tape with CAUTION written on it attached on each side and around the top.  The poster said, THIS DOOR IS NOT A RESTROOM DOOR.  IT IS AN EMERGENCY EXIT DOOR!

By the large number of hand prints on the door and poster, I could tell there had been a problem with people going outside through the door.  Being from the country, if I had gone through the door and to the outside, I would have looked for the OUTHOUSE, which would have been along side of I-59.

Now, I, as have you, have read signs when entering stores.  There is the No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service sign.  Then there are the NO CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED and CASH ONLY signs. I like this one. I WILL NOT WAIT ON YOU IF YOU ARE ON YOUR CELL PHONE sign.  These are self-explanatory.

One time in Thorsby, a Swedish town back home, a service station there had NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SLACKS, NO SERVICE SIGN.  Well, I had to ask the cashier about that one.  She said a lady, I use that term loosely, stopped and read the sign that had “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” sign and calmly went into the women’s restroom, removed her pants, got a soft drink and bag of chips, approached the counter, paid and left wearing her shirt, panties, flip-flops.  Well, as the old saying goes, “Here’s your sign.”

So, as I went to pay for a diet Sunkist for a caffeine fix, I commented to this big burly fellow with a snarled look on his face standing behind the counter of the Shell station, “I see by the sign and safety tape that you have had a problem with folks going out the exit.”  He snarled saying, “Stupid people can’t read.  Every time they go out the door, the alarm goes off.” 

I have to admit that the sign was confusing, especially if you “gotta go” in a hurry.  I didn’t ask, but I wondered how many had an accident after the alarm sounded.  He was not too amused with my questioning.

Signs, like the Shell one can be confusing and misleading.  I am reminded of an old rock and roll song by Five Man Electrical Band:  Signs, signs, everywhere a sign. Blockin’ out the scenery, breakin’ my mind Do this, don’t that, can’t you read the Sign?



With the COVID -19 pandemic many stores have signs directing you to social distancing.  At the grocery store the signs are green footprints staggered to stand the mandatory six feet.  At the automotive parts store the clerks demand you stand behind the red stripe.  Since stupid people can't read and with the influx of foreigners, modern signs use universal symbols, but that is not a new trend.  Look at Isaiah.



And the Lord said, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia (Isaiah 20:3 KJV). 



I did not do as Isaiah did, but I did wear a sign one day.  While on a Disaster Relief trip to St. Joseph Missouri, I wore a sign.  I was unaware that my “so called friends” that I will withhold their names but they know who they are and a new friend Steve, manager of a co-op in Marshall County, posted a sign on my back.  You know the kind that high schoolers get placed on their back saying, KICK ME.  My friends set the plot and Steve did the dirty work.  Steve patted me on the back and told me he was proud of my being a Chaplain.  I was feeling pretty good, but I noticed people were snickering at me.  One of Steve’s friends, not one of mine, felt sorry for me and clued me in on the scheme.  Steve had placed a sign on my back that said, “WILL WORK FOR FOOD!” 



Then certain of the scribes and of the Pharisees answered, saying, Master, we would see a sign from thee. But he (Jesus) answered and said unto them, An evil and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign (Matthew 12:38-39a KJV)



O ye hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky; but can ye not discern the signs of the times? (Matthew 16:3b KJV)