RESPECT - Where did it go?

Several years the Hopper family gathered in Montgomery, Alabama for the wake of my aunt Gertrude.  It was one of the few occasions that the extended Hopper family was together.  It seems that funerals have been the reason for our coming together.  Problem is there are getting fewer of us.

As Hopper kin we were taught respect, especially to women, children, the elderly, and especially toward people that are not able to care for themselves.  Hoppers do not mind stepping in when there is disrespect.

At the funeral home a young boy walked into the chapel wearing a baseball cap.  My uncle Cliff jerked the small boy around and told him to show respect for Aunt Gertrude and yanked the ball cap from his head.  The young boy tried to resist but Uncle Cliff “got his attention” and the embarrassed lad skedaddled.

The young boy was not part of the Hopper family but that did not matter.  Uncle Cliff in a few brief moments explained to the young man to have respect.  Hoppers were taught not to wear hats in church, something that amazes me about today’s culture.  It is amazing how many men and boys wear caps at the table.  That was a big no no at the Hopper table or when we had the honor and privilege to dine at a restaurant.  The legendary Coach “Bear” Bryant would not wear his famous hound’s-tooth hat in the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans.  He said he was taught not to wear a hat inside.

Wearing hats inside has to be the product of a generation that knows not a father.  Shame on a society that dad is absent and the media that glorifies the buffoonery of the stupid dad.  It is the breakdown of family which was ordained in the Garden of Eden.

When I attended the University of Montevallo in the 1980’s, a male student wore a hat into Dr. Morgan’s history class.  Dr. Morgan politely asked the student to remove his hat.  The student was indignant and refused which did not fare well with Dr. Morgan.  Dr. Morgan told the student if he did not remove the hat that he had to remove himself from the classroom.

The student said that the reason for the cap was he did not have time to comb his hair.  Dr. Morgan reminded him that it was his classroom and to remove the hat or get out.  The student removed his hat and would have made Alfalfa of the Little Rascals proud.

As a returning adult to the University, I tried to be kind and courteous toward everyone.  One day I held the door open for another returning adult.  As she approached, she began to use some very ugly language.  She told me that she could open the @#$& door her @#$& self and did not need a @#$& male chauvinist pig to open it for her. 

I said, “You are welcome.  My mamma told me to be a gentleman every chance I got and to hold a door open for a lady.  Undoubtedly, you’re not one.  Have a great day!”

It is amazing at the number of people that smile when you show them respect.  One day a friend said, “I notice that every time you speak to a child you lower yourself.”  I told my friend that I get down looking them in the eye.  I show them respect.

Recently in Wal-Mart, a little boy was checking his blood pressure.  Filling out his info on the machine he asked me how to spell Michael.  I could tell that he had special needs, so I took time to help him.  We enjoyed sharing with each other.  I went over to another aisle and another special needs boy said, “My name is Tommy, what’s yours?  His mother scolded him.  I smiled a big smile and said Bobby.”  His mother smiled a big smile.  Both boys helped make it a great day.  I told my wife if a third special needs child spoke to me it would be a special word from God.

I’m thankful the Hoppers continue to teach and show respect.

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another Romans 12:10 KJV

 “Stand up in the presence of the elderly, and show respect for the aged. Fear your God. I am the LORD.” Leviticus 19:32

 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

"Brother Calvin, a Hero of Mine"

Who is your favorite pastor?  I get that question from time to time.  I have had the privilege of flying with Dr. Adrian Rogers, sharing a dinner with Dr. James Draper, studying under Dr. Timothy George, Dr. Calvin Miller, Dr. Louis Drummond, and Dr. Robert Smith.  I have had many conversations with Dr. Chuck Kelly and Dr. Steve Gains.

I had the honor of spending time with Dr. Johnny Hunt, Dr. Ted Traylor, Dr. Bobby Welch, and Dr. Rick Warren.  I stayed in the same Atlanta hotel with Dr. Jerry Falwell.  He had too many bodyguards to approach, but we did exchange pleasantries.

I spent a wonderful moment under a canopy, in the rain, in Salt Lake City with Dr. Stephen Olford.  We talked as old friends would talk.  He was even more intriguing in person than on television or radio.  I loved his South African accent.

I had a memorable conversation with Dr. Herschel Hobbs at Alabama Baptists retreat for senior adults at Shocco Springs a couple of months before his death.  He had lived in Chilton County as a boy.  We had some mutual friends.

I thank God for Dr. Billy Graham.  I love to hear Dr. Chuck Swindoll preach and read his, Dr. Calvin Miller, Dr. Warren Wiersbe, and Dr. Max Lucado’s books.  When I wrote this article, I was reading a yearly devotion by Dr. Charles Stanley each morning.  Sounds like I am bragging does it not.  If you are a Southern Baptist, all these men are giants in ministry, but one of my favorite preachers is not well known.  He never pastored a large church and never had a formal education degree, but he did take some extension classes.  His name is Calvin Crocker.

Calvin, and his wife Ida Mae, are special to me.  He pastored my home church.  He grew up with my dad.  He was my first pastor.  He is one of the most humble and loving people that I have ever known.  I loved to hear him preach.  He was “ole timey” preaching in quick, short, spurts, and grasping for air.

He visited our home on several occasions.  He had a passion for lost souls and he knew my dad was lost and that mama, my brothers, sister, and I were not faithful.  In the last days of my Grandpaw Chapman’s life, Brother Calvin won him to the Lord. Brother Calvin preached Grandpaw’s funeral.

One time daddy and I were in the pea patch working on an old Farmall Cub tractor.  Brother Calving drove up in his old four-door 1957 Chevy.  Daddy did not like preachers.  Daddy said, “Watch this.”  I will never forget what he did.  It is one of those defining moments in my life.

Daddy placed his right hand in the grease and dust that collects on the side of a tractor engine.  Brother Calvin had on a white shirt and tie.  Remember, this is back with preachers never wore a golf shirt.  Instead of playing golf, they were praying to God and paying visits to lost daddies who were trying to impress young sons to be mean and disrespectful to God’s man.  It was too high of a calling for Brother Calvin to wear a golf shirt. 

Brother Calvin stretched forth his right hand to shake daddy’s hand.  Daddy rubbed that grease all into Brother Calvin’s hand.  Brother Calvin never blinked an eye.  He quietly took out his handkerchief and wiped the grease from his hand.  He told daddy how much he loved him, how much he wanted daddy to be saved, and how he did not him to spend an eternity in hell.

I was ashamed of what daddy did, but I learned that day both sides of the spiritual war in which we live.  I realized how a preacher should love and a Christian should respond.  You know for some reason Brother Calvin’s sermons took on a new revelation for me.  Brother Cocker accepted the call to another church, but he never stopped praying and talking with daddy.

Brother Calvin rejoiced when daddy accepted Christ.  Brother Crocker visited daddy and when daddy tried to apologize for all the things he had done, Brother Crocker just told daddy how proud he was of daddy’s salvation.

Daddy developed cancer and Brother Crocker would visit him.  When daddy died, Brother Calvin preached his funeral.  He shared how much he respected daddy and preached God’s Word. 

I saw Brother Calvin and Ms. Ida Mae at the 2006 Alabama Baptist State Convention in Birmingham.  I told them how much I love them and appreciate them.  They have been close friends for many years.

I just wanted to say how much I love and appreciate preachers.  You do the same.

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord.” (Luke 4:19 KJV)

“And how shall they preach, except they be sent? As it is written, how beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things.” (Roman 10:13 KJV)

Who is your favorite preacher and tell why he is?

Have you ever treated a man of God with disrespect?  What did you do?

Take time to write a note to you favorite preacher or your pastor.  What would you say?

Prayer: Father, thank you for placing Brother Calvin in my life.  It was by divine appointment that he has been a mentor to me.  He taught me so much about humility and Christian response when sharing the Gospel.  Thank you for the opportunity to be one of his colleagues and co-laborers in the ministry.

Three Rings and a Funeral

I like gadgets.  I can spend hours in hardware stores, automotive shops, and electronic shops looking at all the neat things to have at your disposal.  I guess it is a guy thing, but having the right gadget or tool makes all the difference in the world for doing “honey do” projects.  Wow have some of these electronic wonders changed the way we work and communicate.

Lately though, I have noticed that many electronic gadgets are beginning to be a nuisance.  I have been to several meetings where ultimately; someone’s cell phone will interrupt the meeting with some ridiculous ring tone.  What makes it ridiculous is that the host most often asks each attendee to turn off their phones or if they are expecting that, “all important call” to put their phone on vibrate.

At the last Southern Baptist Convention I attended, I saw the rudeness of many in attendance who were on their cell phones, blackberries, or laptop computers during times of preaching or business.  I am always amazed at how many people attend a conference and the first thing they do is open laptops, now even smaller “notebooks,” and read e-mails and other stuff during meetings.  It makes me want to buy one of those illegal gadgets that jams the frequencies of phones, blackberries, and laptops.

I remember a funeral I attended a couple of years ago.  It was the mother of a former church member.  This former member is a respected medical doctor and a family friend.  My sister and I sat together, unbelievably, without daddy making us.  That was punishment for fighting when growing up.  I leaned over to her and said, “I bet you a supper that a cell phone rings during the funeral.”  She agreed with the deal.  Right on cue, someone’s cell phone started ringing to the tune of “Sanford and Son.”

I smiled at my sister and said, “Double or nothing I bet another rings.”  She agreed again.   Did I mention that my sister is gullible?  A few moments later, another phone rang.  It was in a lady’s purse and she fumbled for what seemed an eternity trying to turn it off.

Feeling kind-a bad about my sister owing me two suppers, I asked her to go double or nothing again.  I was thinking that by now everyone made sure his or her cell phones were off and sister could break even.  By the way, my sister is a very good cook.  Before the end of the funeral, another cell phone rang.  After the funeral, I told my sister all she had to do was fix one supper.

We have heard lately about the security breaches, the train wreaks, auto accidents, and other disturbing effects that cell phones and text messaging are causing.  I know I have preached at a couple of churches were the young people are text messaging during worship.  Now our young people can pass notes electronically.  It makes me want to text the sermon to them or have God text them, “LISTEN TO THE SERMON.”

I hope I do not sound like I am on a soapbox, but I think that we are losing our respect for one another.  The other day this dude was talking, I thought, to me.  I was having this conversation with him when I realized he was talking to his ear and I was talking to myself.  He wore another gadget makes people look like an alien from a “Sci Fi” movie.

In Wal Mart, two ladies were walking side by side pushing their buggies while talking on cell phones.  I saw four girls in a car on the Interstate all four talking on their cell phones.  Has it gotten that bad that we must have cell phones to communicate with one another while with one another?

I know that during the holidays it was hard to carry on a conversation with family and friends because they were constantly talking or text messaging to someone.

As we all know too well, cell phones can be critical in keeping us safe and connected. Technology, its myriad of benefits, and all its gadgets are not the issue, people are.

“Some people have gotten so fed up with rude mobile phone users they have turned to illegal cell phone jammers. These devices knock cell phone users off their lines and prevent a reconnection with the cell tower until the user wanders out of range. The rate at which jammers are selling speaks to the lack of manners among yappers.”

Thinking of cell phone etiquette, we need to remember the words of the Apostle Paul.  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32 KJV).  The words of Jesus my express it better.  A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another (John 13:34 KJV).

The next time you are in worship or at a funeral, remember to turn off your cell phone.  It is not likely that God will be using Verizon, ATT, or Southern LINC to contact you and that cute ring tone might not be appropriate.