Clumsy Soggy Bottoms

Experiencing a growth spurt in my early teens, I became a maladroit athlete.  Another word for maladroit is clumsy.  I learned how to stumble without serious injury by learning to hit and roll.  In fact, I made it an art, which was a great attribute to possess being a practice dummy for the senior high football team that kicked and knocked me around quite regularly.

Shouldering paper wood and walking in the woods through honeysuckle vines and saw briars was a great learning tool for the art of stumbling.  It is amazing how many of nature’s creeping plants can grab hold of a size 12 boots.  Stumbling with a large stick of paper wood, you learn quickly how to fall without serious injury.

My junior year, I remember one night I intercepted a pass and headed for a touchdown.  I had two blockers, who should have been blocking, along side of me as I headed for the end zone.  The only man to beat was the quarterback and we were behind him.  He chased, and at the last minute, drove to catch only the tip of my right cleat.  I stumbled, falling short of the end zone.  I went rolling head over heels like a ball.  We did not score and eventually lost 14-13.  I watched the play on film and the quarterback barely touched the tip of my toe.

Most people, who stumble, will jump up readily and look to see if someone is watching.  The other day I stumbled on one of the boards I use for a ramp into my shed.  It has flipped me on several occasions but I have always landed on my feet.  That was until the moment when my neighbor was watching.  The board tilted throwing me toward the shed.  Wanting to preserve my face, actually not wanted any more scars, I used the poise of a ballet dancer to turn while flying through the air, soutenu en tournant,  and toward a host of scar making items.  With the grace of a meteorite striking the earth and the sound of an elephant falling into a room full of brass cymbals, I miraculously landed sitting upright in the garage door.

Thinking of a moment that could have earned me a spot for the grand prize on America’s Funniest Home Videos, except that no one was filming, I heard my neighbor holler, “Are you okay?”  I was until I realized what a sight he saw.  I assured him that it looked and sounded more melodramatic than it was.

One Memorial Day my good friend and minister of music, Bill Baker, took my son Aaron and me fishing on a slough converted into a lake on the Tombigbee west of Demopolis.  We bought some minnows, called “menners” in Chilton County, and headed to a great day of crappie fishing.

I got concerned about the size of the boat for the three of us.  Bill assured me that it was big enough as we bypassed a larger one.  Bill would be running the trolling motor so he wanted a boat he could navigate more easily.

We put the boat in the water and again I questioned the size of the boat to the size of us three.  Bill said, “Preacher you get in first, Aaron can sit in the middle and I will sit on the front.”

Slowly I maneuvered my way to the back, a floating boat is an accident waiting to happen, trying not to stumble and fall into a cold lake.  I had already experienced stumbling on a rebar on a bridge and falling backwards, while holding and bending to rebars, into a muddy creek where the high for the day was 14 degrees.  Did you know that cold water will take your breath?

I made it to the back of the dinghy, small boat, and as I sat on the bench, the water came within an inch of the rim of the top of the boat.  I told Bill I thought we needed the bigger boat.  He assured me that it would be okay and he told Aaron to get it.  Aaron, size 15 boot, tripped on the ice chest between the front and middle seats and fell into my lifted and out-stretched arms.  I broke his fall and kept him out of the lake, but the dinghy sank to the bottom of the lake with me holding my precious baby boy in my arms.  I had visions of the sinking of the Titanic.  For a moment I knew how the Egyptians must have felt when the Red Sea came crashing in on them.  I watched the water come over the boat like a miniature Niagara Falls wetting me to under my armpits.  I was glad we were near the bank or we would have perished. 

Bill, holding the rope to the boat and I think humming Taps, bent over with laughter, fell to the ground, and rolled on the bank laughing to the high heavens.  Aaron made excuses for stumbling and we became the other famous “Soggy Bottom Boys.”  We were not men of constant sorrows, but men who got the bigger boat and had a great day of fishing, teasing, and laughing, with soggy bottoms.

We all stumble in many ways (James 3:2a NIV).

Now to Him who is able to keep them from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory in great joy.   To the only God our Saviour, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and power, before all time, and now, and for evermore. Amen, (Jude 24-25 ASV).

"Wow, All Night on the Creek"

Missions

“As a Royal Ambassador I will do my best:

to become a well informed responsible follower of Christ;

to have a Christlike concern for all people;

to learn how the message of Christ is carried around the world;

to work with others in sharing Christ;

and to keep myself clean in mind and body.”

I learned these words as a Royal Ambassador at the Union Springs Baptist Church in Randolph, Alabama.  Brother Bill Langston was our RA leader.  He taught Sunday School and was a deacon. 

One of the joys of being an RA was doing some great things.  The church did not budget money for the RA Chapter so one of the things we did to make money was wear out our family push-mowers cutting the grass around the church and for widows in the community.  The church paid us and the widows would fix us cookies and kool-aid.  There were no weed-eaters, just boys on their knees pulling grass around graves and buildings hoping for all night fishing trips.

All night fishing trips on Six-mile or Mahan Creek were great rewards for missions.  Brother Bill would load us onto a hay truck and head out for a night of memories.  This was before the day of lawsuits and release forms.  This pre-dated church vans and buses. There were no safety concerns.

After a night of sure fun, Bro. Bill would cook bacon and eggs in a skillet and brew coffee in a tin can on an open fire for breakfast.  We were hungry after a night of running wild, building huge fires, checking poles, catching catfish and eels, and eating fish.  Brother Bill always had a time of prayer and gave an invitation to follow Jesus.  He was doing Wild Game Suppers and Intentional Evangelism in the 1960’s.

One Christmas we got together and refurbished some old bicycles for some kids who were not receiving any gifts.  On another occasion we took our money and bought the church a film strip projector to show the film strips about missions.  That was the DVD of the 1960’s.

Did you know that another word for Southern Baptists is Missions?  In RA’s we studied missions not realizing that our money from cutting the grass was taking the Gospel to the uttermost parts of the world.  The RA pledge comes from First Corinthians 5:20a. Now then we are ambassadors for Christ . . . (KJV).  Brother Bill taught us that we were God’s ambassadors.

Our RA magazines featured some great Christian missionaries.  I cried when we watched the movie about Bill Wallace of China.  Some in my very conservative church thought we were doing evil by showing a movie in church, but our church got more involved in missions after watching it.

Our pastor thought the church should tithe and the church did more than the tithe.

Churches involved in missions grow.  The church that does not evangelize dies.  Pray for your Annie Armstrong Easter Offering and be involved in missions.  The last words of Jesus were about missions.  If your church is not tithing to missions, let me encourage you lead the church to commit to tithe.  If you are not tithing, remember that tithes and offerings are part of worship. 

May we be good stewards of that which the Lord has richly blessed us.  Now concerning the collection for the saints, as I have given order to the churches of Galatia, even so do ye.  Upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as God hath prospered him, that there be no gatherings when I come (I Corinthians 16:1-2 KJV).  A good ambassador is a good steward because he/she represents the Father.