Lightning and Thunder

The power of lightning flashing and roaring thunder fascinate me. One morning while enjoying an early morning sleep a flash of lightning lit up the bedroom. I saw the flash with closed eyes. Suddenly thunder loud and long shook the house rattling the windows. It seemed to roll forever. An awesome way to start the morning.

I was carrying a friend to Montgomery when a large thunderhead cloud covered Interstate 65. I smiled as a beautiful streak of lightning lit up the southern sky. It was a stunning display of raw power. My friend, from Baltimore City, Maryland, shook in fear. She was not used to the violent thunderstorms of Alabama.

One of my history professors from the University of Montevallo explained that the mentality of most Southern gentlemen is like that of a thunderstorm. Long dry and hot days the earth stores the energy of the sun. The energy builds and builds with each passing day. When a cold front approaches, the earth releases the stored energy. The longer the storage the more violent the storm. Dr. Fuller, the professor said that Southern men are easy going until pushed too far, then they explode like a violent thunderstorm.

The morning after the storm passes, the Alabama sky is a clear and beautiful blue. The air is cooler and everything turns green and starts to renew what was dry and almost dead. These things are what makes Spring my favorite time of the year.

Lighting storms cause destruction too. Power outages can last for days, and the impatience of power customers grows exponentially. Winds, hail, and rain can wreak havoc on property. Storms can ruin springtime events, like Resurrection Sunday.

Maudy Thursday and Good Friday remind us of prelude of one of the greatest storms in history. As Jesus celebrated His last supper with his disciples, sin began to manifest Satan’s evil plot. Through the centuries before the Resurrection, evil battled God, and His people. Everything imaginable confronted the men and women of God. The events of Calvary went deeper than a hand full of disciples shaken from their belief. The climax of their last days with Jesus was one of sin. That great moment when God walked among them the disciples allowed sin to dominate their thoughts, their actions, and their ministries. Their dreams and ambitions ended in defeat and just beyond them the unseen world of evil rallied in victory. The lie defeated the truth and Truth lay in a cold dark tomb bound by rags and smothered by perfume and burial spices.

While those who loved the Lord wept with hurt, mourned with regret, and cried in anger, the forces of darkness danced, drank, and celebrated victory. Finally evil could do what they wanted and there would be no accountability, no repercussions, and no judgment. The powers of darkness with every unimaginable display of sinful prejudice, partying, and pure filth celebrated. Satan and his legions of demonic prodigies had slain the Incarnate, Eternal God.

As the storm raged from Friday night through the events at Calvary, believers wept with the heartbreaking events flooding their thoughts and being. Suddenly the Son flashed as lightning and the thunder rolled, darkness scurried away, and evil cleared its throat, as hearts ached, eyes cried, and hands trembled waiting for the break of day, Truth broke the power of evil. Satan, his evil crew, and groupies faced the risen Savior knowing their future was the eternal abyss.

The words of Matthew ring in our hearts and ears.

 “And the angel answered and said unto the women, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay. And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you.” Matthew 28:6 KJV

Until Resurrection morning, sin and sickness dominated life robbing it of joy. Sin, sickness, and sadness are realities of life until the Lord returns. One day Jesus is coming to take believers out of this heartbreaking world of sin, sickness, and sadness. Until He does, believers have the help of the Holy Spirit. Until He comes, believers have the assurance and the prayers of other believers to help. Our salvation is commitment to Christ and His Church. Because He lives we live in hope.

Resurrection Sunday is a great day for the church. It is the largest day of attendance for most churches, but that is not the reason for its greatness. It is great because it is the day we celebrate the victory over death. For believers it is a reality every day.

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Who's Knocking on My Door

God always prepares us to minister for Him. I never dreamed that contract negotiations were progression for pastoral ministries. Each step we take in life’s journey is preparation for the next opportunity headed our way.

Negotiations had been difficult at Blue Circle Cement in Calera, Alabama. The 1980’s were troubled and trying times for the economy. Due to a corporate takeover, in 1982, Martin Marietta Cement sold to Blue Circle.

During the period from April 1982-March 1987, my vocabulary increased. Terms like “corporate purging,” “downsizing”, “eliminating inventory”, and “efficiency focus” created an atmosphere of low morale, drop in productivity, loss of experience and knowledge.

I, as well as several other employees, were laid off from Martin Marietta and called back after months and years later to Blue Circle. Being the last man hired in October 1976, I was the last employee for five years. I learned to despise the corporate terminology that led to five years of transition.

During the five years of struggling, I felt called into full-time ministry and enrolled at the University of Montevallo in the fall of 1983 as a twenty-nine-year-old freshman. The is one of many steps in a long journey. A wise pastor said, “A trip around the world starts with one step and the higher you go, the farther you can see.”

Four years later, Blue Circle called me from layoff. Blue Circle and Local Union 537 were at an impasse on contract negotiations and implemented a contract. My university experience had broadened my horizon. My co-workers discouraged from loss of pay, loss of vacations, and other losses. I found myself in a battle with human resources over insurance and trying to finish my spring term at Montevallo. Trying to turn five years of change in three days was no easy task.

Having been successful with human resources, some union brothers asked me to use my college knowledge to help the union. I reluctantly agreed and was immediately found that I was president by default.

God blessed me and we did negotiate a new contract with wages, vacations, and other fringe benefits restored. After a year as president, I decided to “go out” on top but stayed on the negotiation team.

By 1994 we were in another contract negotiation. Once again Local Union 537 and Blue Circle were at impasse, and the Federal Mediator is involved. Trips to the Federal Building were regular. Lockout would follow. Local Union 537 was outside looking in.

On a federal mediation day, the Local president, Keilan, and I were early and decided to see an old friend that had retired and lived in north Birmingham. We had promised to see him, but he lived in a rough neighborhood, and we did not have his address.

Elijah Smith (Smitty) was our friend’s name. He was black and lived in a black neighborhood. What we did was crazy, but we promised Smitty we would visit. I knew about where he lived because we discussed it when we worked together. I knew he lived near 15^th Street and could see the Hardee’s from his house.

Two white boys rode through the north Birmingham neighborhood looking for his Chevy van. Kelan was scared to death. Round and round we drove with no luck at all. I spotted a senior adult black lady swinging on her front porch swing. I told Keilan that I was going to ask her where Smitty “stayed” as Smitty called it.

I went on the porch and introduced myself to her. I told her that Elijah and I worked together at the cement plant, and we had promised to visit him. I knew he lived on 15^th Street. Keilan watched me from the car.

She told me her name and pointed across the street and said, “Elijah stay at that white house there.”

I thanked her very much and told Keilan that Smitty lives there. We drove to Smitty’s driveway, and I got out to knock on the door. Keilan whines, “Hopper, you going to get us shot!”

I told him that we were welcomed by the front porch lady. I knocked several times but no answer. I told Keilan to write a note that we paid a visit. About that time, I hear the unlocking of the door. There were several locks, and I realized Smitty was cautious.

Our friend opened the door, I think Keilan lay low in the car. There was Smitty smiling big and tears running down his cheeks. He said, “Lords I don’t believes it. Yall said you would come and yous did.”

Keilan and I found a lonely old friend in need of conversation and remembrance. We celebrated a wonderful morning. It would be our last time together. Keilan and Elijah are in the presence of the Lord.

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. Revelation 3:20 KJV

Blue Circle Cement locked out Local 537 for several months eventually allowing only a few employees to return. The plant sold a few years later as result of corporate purging and corporate downsizing philosophies.

 

Chief John Lee

I got a call several years ago.  Looking at the caller I D, I recognized it was my old friend and former church member John Lee.

John was the Police Chief at the University of Montevallo.  He became Chief during my sophomore year.  His office was adjacent to the carpentry shop where I worked between classes.  John was a regular for morning coffee.

During our morning coffee, John learned that I was preacher.  He said he studied to be a preacher but realized that the ministry was not his calling and became a police officer. 

During his first year, John called me in his office investigating how, as a student, that I had a faculty college parking decal.  I answered that I got it during the summer break and by virtue of working in the carpentry department.  Boy it made it nice to drive up to the classroom door.

As it is with all good things, somebody complained about my college perk, the faculty decal.  John required me to get a student decal.  He said his hands were tied and that he had enforce campus procedures and policies.  I told him that it was not a problem, and it was good while it lasted.  After that, my friends in the carpentry shop used a university vehicle to transport me to and from class.  Lose one perk, gain another I say.  John smiled each time he saw me riding to class in the carpentry pickup.

John was an interesting Chief.  He was driver for Alabama Governor George C. Wallace for many years.  He had the voice of an old southern colonel or aristocratic landowner.  He could tell some tales about governors George and Laureen.

John was also a gun collector, outdoorsman, and artist.  He painted wildlife, particularly ducks.  He competed for the Alabama State Duck Hunting Stamp annually.  He won the state competition, against national, competitors in 1984 and 2002.  He was in the top ten for the Federal Duck Stamp.

John moved from his campus house to a new home in the community where I pastored.  He attended church one Sunday told me that he would join, but he was hesitant saying some big church was going to snatch me away.  I laughed and responded, “No one wants me.”  I stayed there eight years, five as John’s pastor.

After graduation, I would visit the University physical plant and their workers, especially the boys at the carpentry shop and Chief Lee.

In October before my spring phone call, my son Aaron and I visited with John.  Aaron and John always talked “guns.”  John told us he was about to retire.  A few weeks later, I got an invitation inviting me to his retirement.  The retirement gala was on January 30th.

I accepted the invitation, and we went in anticipation of seeing old friends.  I was shocked when I saw John.  He had deteriorated greatly since my earlier visit a few months earlier.  I received another shock when I looked at the program.  I was on it.  I had the innovation and opening remarks.  Did I ever say that God takes care of fools and ignorant folks like me?  I just happened to be in church dress clothes!

After the retirement ceremony, John presented each program personality with a gift.  He gave me the 1984 Alabama State Duck Stamp print from his office.  I was very surprised.

Picking up the phone, I said, “Good morning, John.”  There was an eerie silence.  I sensed something was wrong.  “Bobby, this is Judy.  John passed last night, and he wanted Dr. McChesney and you to do his funeral.”  Judy is John’s wife and Dr. McChesney is retired President of the University of Montevallo and bird-hunting buddy to John and Judy. 

“Bobby, I want you to be in charge of all the arrangements.  John said you would know what to do.”

I did as asked, remembering what good friends John and Judy were.  Judy gave me John’s 2002 Alabama State Duck Stamp print for doing the funeral service.  Judy said, “Bobby, you know that your Duck Prints are very valuable now that John has passed?  Reflecting on these things, I thought of Luke 14:7-10:

And he put forth a parable to those which were bidden, when he marked how they chose out the chief rooms; saying unto them.  When thou art bidden of any man to a wedding, sit not down in the highest room; lest a more honourable man than thou be bidden of him; And he that bade thee and him come and say to thee, Give this man place; and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room. But when thou art bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher: then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them that sit at meat with thee. then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them that sit at meat with thee.

Both paintings hang in my library.  They are valuable.  To me they are priceless.

Thanks for the memories, Chief 

Fun Meeting People

While attending the University of Montevallo I met people from all over the world.  Back then, Montevallo was the first school listed under Alabama colleges.  Alabama is the first state listed.  Many foreign students came because of its listing and its lower tuition.

I developed relationships with Rom from India, Boon Hin from Malaysia, Mercedes from Spain, Vanna from Iran, and Dan from Pittsburg.  Now Pennsylvania is in America, but Dan acted like a “fernier”, that is Chiltonian slang for foreigner.

It was fun meeting new people.  It was enlightening to learn from new cultures and seeing things from new perspectives.  I received four years of education from relationships that cannot come from books and lectures.

One intriguing person did not attend school but worked in the University carpenter shop.  He was native Alabamian, from Chilton County.  He wore long hair to cover a place on the back of his head and neck from a scalding accident as a kid. He talked in a slow southern drawl and walked in a slow, carefree, and plowboy manner.  He appeared to have little education but could spell anything.

Being a horrible speller, he and I discussed spelling on many occasions.  He wanted to know how I was an English minor and could not spell.  I told him I spelled with a very limited vocabulary and used a dictionary.  I had not heard of a thesaurus back then.  Boy does a thesaurus help writing these articles. 

He asked me in that slow southern drawl, “If you don’t know how to spell it, how do you look up a word in a dictionary?”  He did have a good point.  This was before computers had spell check. I use spell check, but sometimes it is wrong, and I look up a word in the dictionary and show it to the computer screen and say, “I told you that you was wrong.”  Spell check corrects the spelling but does not give the correct word at times

My friend had another talent.  He had a green thumb when it came to plants.  Plants filled the carpenter shop.  He collected plants from all over the campus that were in the process of dying.  Rather than throwing them away, he would nurture them back to good health.  I can see him now with his squirt bottle of water spraying his babies as he lovingly called them.  He talked to them as he ministered to them.

Where professors and members of housekeeping neglected the plants, my friend nurtured them back to good health.  The plants provided the carpenter shop with oxygen and beauty.  From time-to-time professors and members of housekeeping visited the carpenter shop.  They were amazed at the healthy plants.  Sometimes they did recognize that the plants were their former plants.

My friend retired from the University.  On a visit to the University, I noticed that my friend’s plants remain healthy.  His former coworkers maintain the plants.  My friend frequents the shop to check the plants and give the plants a pep talk.

If you come by our home at Sugar Ridge, you will see plants.  My friend taught me how to nurture and care for plants.  They remind me of my friend.  They remind me of the importance of nurturing people and churches.

I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.  Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.  Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.  I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.  If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.  If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.   Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples. (John 15:1-8 KJV).

 

"Sin of Poverty"

One day several years ago I was recovering from an intense workout at rehab after total knee replacement by sitting in the car in the Demopolis, Alabama Wal Mart parking lot.  I told my chauffeur that I would wait while she went in for a few things.  Now all you know that if you go to town, Wal Mart calls you to it like a bug zapper attracts insects.

The parking lot had more cars than normal.  My friend reminded me that it was the fifteenth of month, government checks.  She ought to know, she delivered them for a quarter century with the United States Post Office.

All that I saw intrigued me.  I am a people watcher and I observed people getting out their vehicle and sashaying into the land of bargains.  Folks were in raggedy old trucks, red mud covered Tahoes, nasty rice burners (Hondas, Toyotas, Nissans), BMW’s, and Mercedes.  There were big people, extra-large folks, short people, and tiny folks all coming and going.

I watched a customer gather buggies and return them to the proper place. Other folks, removing junk from their buggies, left them in empty parking spaces, where arriving customers would have to move them to park.  Some folks just have a knack for sorriness

I had the windows and moon roof open enjoying the smell of spring, only to have it ruined with the nasty smell of a cigarette.  I watched as the lady puffed and blew that blue nicotine toxic cloud my way.  She, along with all the other smokers deposited their nasty cigarette butts on the pavement at the Wal Mart entrance.  People can be so inconsiderate.

We experienced the same inconsideration at the monthly distribution of food for low-income folks at the Bethel Baptist Building Annex each month.  Pam, the Associational secretary and I had to make and post signs reminding the folks that it is a no smoking area.  One day I told a man it was no smoking.  He said he did not know it was no smoking.  I asked if he smoked at his church.  He said no.  I asked could he smoke on school property.  He said no.  I reminded him that he was on church owned property and parked his car on school property.  NO SMOKING.

What amazes me is the fact that people receiving this low-income food have money to waste on junk.  My experience living below the poverty level, according to the IRS, for four years while attending the University of Montevallo, my wife, the kids, and I lived on bare essentials.  There were no vacations, no ball games tickets, no new clothes, just what we needed. 

I am reminded of a devotional about the “sin of poverty.”  It is the dialogue between Jesus and the rich young ruler.  Jesus told him to sell all he had and to give the money to the poor.  He lacked faith.  Most of us are aware of the sin of riches, but what about poverty?

Poverty also can block faith.  People use being poor as an excuse.  Most of us find it difficult to give food to a person with a cigarette dangling from their mouth, the smell of liquor on their breath, marijuana in their pocket, a designer purse on the shoulder, and sporting a new Mercedes.

I decided to do a word study on poor.  The Bible is full of references to the poor.  Jesus said that the poor would always be around and to help them, Deuteronomy 15:7-8.  The tricky part is how to help.

What I learned was that being poor is about attitude.  Heck, some the richest people in Marengo County are poor when compared to Donald Trump.  I know growing up we did not think of our family being poor, is just those folks in Jemison were rich because they had a lot of new stuff.

If we are not careful, we can foster an attitude in the poor of expecting handouts.  I remember in economics class at the University of Montevallo the Chinese proverb:  Give a man fish you feed him today, teach a man how to fish and feed him tomorrow.

I also remember the University had a partnership with Guatemala.  During one of the exchanges, a delegation from Guatemala wanted to see the poor of Montevallo.  They took them to a rundown area.  The Guatemalans said, “No, show us you are poor.”  They were carried to a place where there were a few shanties.  Once again, “No, show us you’re poor.”  Finally, they showed them a rundown old shack.  They were amazed and said, “Everyone here is so rich.”

What about the sin of poverty?  I have concluded that people are poor by birth, by choice, and by uncontrollable forces.  Think about it.  One cannot control what family they were born, what conditions they face, and what calamities that will come. 

My late friend Jim Baker said that he went from being wealthy to pauper overnight in the soybean business when President Jimmy Carter imposed the grain embargo on Russia in the late 1970’s.

The sin of poverty must be a choice (Proverbs 10:4, 21:17).  The rich young ruler had to decide to stay rich, or trust God.  The flipside is the poor, to stay poor or trust God (Psalms 69:33; Proverbs 13:7, 19:1; Matthew 5:3; and James 2:5).

Two things stand out in God’s Word about the poor.  God has always been on the side of the poor, not just any poor, but those who were poor with material things, but rich in faith.  The church’s duty is defend the poor and preach the Good News/Gospel to them.

 

Blessed is he that considereth the poor: the Lord will deliver him in time of trouble (Psalm 41:1 KJV).

 

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor (Luke 4:18a KJV).

 

Lest I forget Calvary, “For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though He was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through His poverty might be rich” (II Corinthians 8:9 KJV).

CLOUD OF WITNESSES

I had a great time attending the University of Montevallo from 1983-1987.  Life outside the university were good and bad.  Dad and mom both died before I graduated.  A third child was born, I was bi-vocational pastor, took fifteen hours of classes, worked twenty hours a week at minimum wage in the university carpenter shop, and was husband and dad.  While in school, I thought that December 1987 would never arrive.

I had the privilege of making the Dean's List my freshman year, the academic side and one for getting into trouble my senior year.  The trouble is for another time.  October 22, 1996, I became a member of the Pi Alpha Theta Society for English.  On April 9, 1987, I received an invitation and was inducted into the Sigma Tau Delta Society for history.

Most of the good was not the classes I took, even though I learned bunches, but it was the relationships I developed with the Physical Plant workers, professors, staff, and a few students.  I was a returning adult much older than many classmates.

I had the good fortune of hearing of all kinds of stories about the university.  One of the funniest was that if a virgin walked through the gates into Palmer Hall a brick would fall out.  The four years I was there none had fallen out.

There were always bomb threats at the mathematics building during finals.  Art majors always had some artist something or other going.  One time walking to the Physical Plant to work, I passed some of my art classmates.  They were sitting in the parking lot painting pictures of a pine tree.  I asked what they were doing other than painting because they surrounded the tree.  One girl said they were painting the different perspectives of the tree.  All looked good except one which I diagnosed as Abstract.  Thirty plus years later I am still trying to see her work as a tree.

Two of my favorite people were Bailey and Lamar, my co-workers in the carpenter shop.  They knew plenty!  One was when Dr. Kermit Johnson retired as president of the University of Montevallo, the University honored him with a gigantic celebration at the baseball field and pavilions.  There were many tents and tables with tons of celebration food.  Dr. Johnson was a people person, that was anyone, and everyone loved him.  There were dignitaries from various levels of the State of Alabama and the educational system.  

To handle the mass of guests, the baseball stadium was the ideal place to honor this wonderful man.  It was a beautiful day for an outside celebration.  Two close friends of the president were Mike and Enos who drove to the festivities and the food tent in their garbage truck.  As the aromatic drippings of the truck spattered the pavement Mike and Enos in their spoiled clothes, and special blend of personal cologne, shook hands with Kermit and other dignitaries then proceeded to the food line.  Mike and Enos were special friends with Dr. Johnson, but the Physical Plant supervisor was in total shock and embarrassment. 

Mike was an Italian and was a very agile man for his age.  I had the privilege of working with him and my daughter played volleyball for his daughter a Jemison High School.  Enoc was more colorful than Mike.  because of his unique appearance and never marrying, Bailey or Lamar asked him if he was a virgin.  Mike answered, "No I'm Church of Christ.  

Bailey, Lamar, and the smorgasbord quests enjoyed a wonderful sending off of Dr. Johnson.  Before too much aromatic drippings puddled the grounds, Mike and Enos, though enjoying the retirement party, were graciously asked to leave.  They were told they hard garbage waiting on them.

Bailey, Larmar, Mike, Enos, and a great host of others have all passed away leaving this old man with fond memories of a returning adult to the University of Montevallo.  It reminds me of the great cloud of witnesses mentioned in the Bible.  

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us    Hebrews 12:2

Do You Need to Write it Down?

 Are you a list person?  Most people are.  I went to the grocery store one time to buy a bell pepper.  I did not need a list to buy a pepper.  That bell pepper cost me over fifty dollars.  No, the pepper was not expensive.  They had a sale on steaks that were approaching their expiration date.  I bought them because they are better when they age.  Steaks go well with baked potatoes, so I bought some big baking potatoes.  Steaks taste good marinated in Dale’s Steak Sauce, so I bought a bottle to make sure I had some.  As I checked out, I told the cashier that the bell pepper sure cost me.  I should have made a list, but I still would have bought the steaks.

I quit trying to have a “to do” list.  As I started the list, I realized there were some other things that needed my attention.  I listed several things that I wanted to do that day and the day after.  I never got around to finishing my list for the day so I postponed them to the next day, which postponed my next day list.  Not being able to complete my list, I threw the list away.

Lists are important.  During my years at the University of Montevallo, lists were very prominent.  There were list of classes, lists of degrees, lists of grades, lists of scholarships, lists of job opportunities, lists of those graduating, lists of those who owned tuition, lists of those who were on academic probation, lists of books, lists of required reading, the dean’s list, and the president’s list.

There were lists at the cement plant such as work detail lists, work order lists, absentee lists, employee job lists, requirement lists, job awards lists, vacation lists, lunch menu lists.  If you were fortunate or unfortunate, you got on the boss man’s list.  That was not a good list.  He would give you a list of the worse jobs in the plant.  The plant had an employee list and an employee timecard number list.  There were lists of job positions, daily job lists, preventive maintenance lists, and danger lists.

Lists remind me of the couple who were having trouble remembering.  Their family doctor told them they needed to make a list.  They did and it helped.  One night as they prepared for bed, the husband decided he wanted some ice cream.  He asked his wife if she would like some.  She said yes and asked if he would put chocolate syrup on it.  Knowing his forgetfulness, she asked if he needed to write it down.  He said no, that she wanted ice cream with chocolate syrup.

She then said could you put some whipped cream on it.  He said he would.  She asked again if he needed to write it down.  He said that she wanted ice cream with chocolate syrup and whipped cream.  She asked him to put some walnuts on the whipped cream.  She asked him if he needed to write it down.  He reluctantly repeated her list back, ice cream, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and walnuts. She then added one more item asking him to top it off with a cherry. 

“Do you need to write it down,” she asked.  He answered, “No, you want ice cream with chocolate syrup, whipped cream, walnuts, and a cherry on top.”  With that, he went to the kitchen.  Pans rattled, dishes clanged, and cabinet doors slammed.  After twenty minutes, the husband returned with a tray of scrambled eggs, bacon, and grits.  The wife was infuriated.  She said, “I told you to make a list, you forget the buttered toast.”

Lists are important.  The Bible is full of lists.  When you read a list of “begats,” remember that each name has a story behind it.  Take time to read each one. 

And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters. . .  And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters (Genesis 5: 4-27 KJV).

Speaking of the importance of names, God keeps lists.

He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels (Revelation 3:5 KJV).

The More I Attend School, the Dumber I Become

I want to squash a vicious rumor that has slowly circulating around.  As with any rumor, it is hard to locate the source.  Rumors and gossip have a tendency to be bigger and better than reality.  Rumor has it that I am very intelligent or as some say, smart.  Well, It ain’t so.

Truth is you do not know what I do not know.  In the words of the great communicator and master of wit, Will Rogers, “It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.”

My late father-in-law once asked me why I was going to school, referring to seminary, for so long.  I responded by saying that when I was a young man I thought I was pretty smart.  That was until I started classes at the University of Montevallo.  Once I started into the wonderful world of academia, I realized I did not know anything.  I told paw-in-law that the more I went to school the dumber I got.  Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Knowledge is knowing that we cannot know.”

I know that I cannot spell.  I rely heavily on the dictionary, the thesaurus, and the spell check.  That reminds me of my late friend Lamar from the University of Montevallo carpentry shop who talked real slow, but could spell anything.  He asked me how I spelled correctly.  I said, “I use the dictionary.”  With all of his Chilton County Alabama wit he asked, I might add very slowly, “How do you use a dictionary if you don’t know how to spell the word?”  I called Lamar a “Smart Aleck!”  What’s funny is I had to use Roget’s Thesaurus to look up “aleck” while writing this article because spell check could not understand what I was trying to say.

The thing is I appear to be more intelligent than I am.  I enjoy being with intellectual thinkers, theologians, and people of wisdom.  I listen more than I speak and act as if I know what they are discussing.  If I listen long enough, a familiar topic will pop up and I will chime into the conversation.  I remember one time in church they were talking about Communion.  I sat among these church folks and I was clueless.  I had visions of something from a hippie commune or something.  I kept my mouth shut long enough to realize they were talking about the Lord’s Supper.

I like what Christian motivational speaker Zig Ziglar says, It's not what you've got, it's what you use that makes a difference.  He also says, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”  Confucius says, “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.”

In Seminary, my friends would ask, “How in the world are you an English minor and cannot spell?”  I replied, “Very limited vocabulary.”  During lectures, I was continually asking my friends how to spell theological words and terms.  I remember the professor talking about “exegesis.”  I was clueless to what exegesis was and spelled it Xahjesus.  Hermeneutics was another one.  I spelled it hermahnudecks and was clueless to what it was.  Regardless of what Lamar says, I am glad I had a dictionary at home to look up these words.

I had a pastor friend call and ask me what I knew about “such and such ism” that was the new hot topic in scholarly thought.  Having no clue, I said, “I don’t know, what do you think?”  After a while, I figured out what he was referring and I told him my take on the subject.   Jewish scholar Mivchar Peninim says, “A wise man’s question is half the answer.”

It is always good to ask someone how to act and what to wear when attending special events.  Admitting that you do not know something is a very important step in the road to knowing something.  To know that you do not know is true knowledge.  Knowing when to say I don’t know is very librating.  I like Yogi Berra philosophy that says, “If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.”

It reminds me of a statement from a preacher friend’s sermon on Esther.  It is important knowing what you do not know.  Esther was not afraid to ask for help when meeting the king.

When the turn came for Esther (the girl Mordecai had adopted, the daughter of his uncle Abihail) to go to the king, she asked for nothing other than what Hegai, the king's eunuch who was in charge of the harem, suggested. And Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her (Esther 2:15 NIV).

 

Queen of Sheba

IF YOU ARE A COLLEGE GRADUATE, I’M THE QUEEN OF SHEBA

Several times in the last few days, I ran across the name Sheba. One of the occurrences was on the History Channel. A program on the Ark of the Covenant told how King Solomon and Sheba were married and had a son. It told that Solomon gave his son the Ark of the Covenant and that it is in Ethiopia today. There is a Hebrew word for that: baloney!

Actually, I thought Indiana Jones found it in the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark, and it is filed deep in the archives of the Smithsonian Institute in Washington or in the secrecy of Area 51 in New Mexico. Who knows?

I did have a conversation with the Queen of Sheba in New Orleans. No, I am not fibbing. Here is what happened.

One of the requirements for getting a Master of Divinity degree from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary (NOBTS) as I attended its extension in Birmingham was that I had to spend thirteen weeks on the NOBTS campus within the four-year time frame of the program. I accomplished this by having earned four weeks of vacation a year from the cement plant. I spent my vacations in New Orleans in class, taking tests. One week was equivalent to a full term.

One of the breaks from this rigorous schedule was a trip to a steak and seafood restaurant, named Jack Dempsey’s. If you go to New Orleans, be sure to go, and order the steak and red fish platter for two. It is wonderful, and it is more than two can eat.

It was during a trip to Jack Dempsey’s that I met the Queen of Sheba. She was from a land far from Alabama, called Georgia. She attended the Marietta extension of NOBTS in Georgia, and she had been invited by some of the other female students who tagged along with several of us who were preachers. New Orleans is not a very safe place for females at night, so being the Southern gentlemen we were, we invited the ladies to tag along.

Sitting around a large table, we enjoyed the food and each other's company. It was exciting to meet new people, share our experiences, and learn of other places and traditions. The Queen appeared older than most of us. She dressed and acted sophisticated, maybe a tad snobbish. I was cutting up and having a good time, when she asked me, “How did you get into this program?”

Being simpleminded, I told her that I had registered. She then said, “I thought you had to have a college degree to register.” I responded by telling her that I had a college degree from the University of Montevallo.

She said, “If you have a college degree, I am the Queen of Sheba.”

My preacher friends and the other ladies (who wanted to be preachers, ministers of education, and counselors) waited for my response. I had two cards, small certificates, in my wallet, from the Phi Alpha Theta and the Sigma Tau Delta. Now, I know that is Greek. The Phi Alpha Theta is from the History Honor Society for having an A average. The Sigma Tau Delta is from the English Honor Society, one of the top five in the nation, for having an A average in English.

I took the cards from my wallet, gave them to her, and said, “Here, read this, Queen of Sheba.”

It was a precious moment that I cherish. My friends around the table erupted in laughter. The Queen of Sheba was speechless. She gathered her composure and asked, “Why don’t you talk like you have an education?”

I said, “I ain’t got to. My professor of public speaking told me that once a speaker establishes his or her credibility, he or she can speak as they want, as long as they communicate. Ma’am, I pastor a small rural church in Bibb County, Alabama. The people I serve are good old country people. If I talk prim and proper, I cannot communicate with them. I know when to act educated and when to be me. I am country, proud of it, and you will have to accept me for who I am.”

And when the queen of Sheba heard of the fame of Solomon concerning the name of the Lord, she came to prove him with hard questions … And she said to the king, It was a true report that I heard in mine own land of thy acts and of thy wisdom. Howbeit I believed not the words, until I came, and mine eyes had seen it: and, behold, the half was not told me: thy wisdom and prosperity exceedeth the fame which I heard (I Kings 10:1, 6-7 KJV)

I have often wondered what she said when she went back to Georgia.

Have you ever met a Queen of Sheba?

How do you respond when someone questions your motives or actions?

What impresses you about people?

Prayer: Father, thank You for all the people that have had the privilege of sharing Your wonderful work in me. The places You allowed me to visit and the education You have given me is far greater than that of any school, university, or seminary. Having opportunities to share experiences and learn of other places is fascinating.