Attitude Adjustments and Cultural Change

 

Spending time with my cousins was almost like living in a utopia because I thought that life would always be about family closeness.  There were sixteen boys and six girls in our Chapman extended family.  We were more like brothers and sisters than we were cousins.  We went to church together, played together, and ate together.  One of my favorite pictures is one where I am about five years old and we are together to eat at Grandmoe Chapman’s table.  We thought those days would never end.   

Years later I realized that I was the only grandchild of Joe and Ethel Chapman that built and lived on family land.  Methodically, we ventured into the world.  College, vocations, and marriage separated us.  Precious are the moments we spent together, but there were quandaries.

It never failed that when I spent time with certain cousins that momma and daddy would have to give me an attitude adjustment.  The adjustment started with a verbal warning in the form of a question.  “Am I going to have to whup, slang for whip, the ‘cousin’s full name’ out of you?”  It never failed.  It was guaranteed that I would get a whuppin’ after spending time with certain cousins.  I didn’t realize the negative influence my certain cousins had.  There were some, older ones, that always had good advice, but the younger would get you in trouble.

After an adjustment or two or three or four, heck a bunch of them, I decided I needed to be selective with my cousins’ advice.  The adjustments helped me with life and the art of listening to folks.

People ask me about my decision-making.  I must process information, usually sleeping before making a decision.  I try to research all the information. Good information leads to good decisions.  I must not allow peer pressure to form or sway my decisions.

Peer pressure has been around for a long time and it changes with age.  I believe that the older I get, the more peer pressure pushes my way.  It is hard to go against the flow.  Going against the flow, means standing alone.

As a teenager, when I played football there were those that tried to get me to drink beer.  I chose not to drink.  I remember in state playoff one of our best backs fumbled a kickoff.  He told us that he saw two footballs and he caught the wrong one.  He later was murdered for gambling debts.  Other teammates and classmates are now alcoholics.  Some have failed marriages, lost jobs, and have nothing to show except a life of regrets.

I remember working at Hiwassee Land Company in high school.  The older boys, in their early twenties, pressured me to date, to take girls parking, and to whisper “sweet nothings” in their ears.  I never will forget their reactions when they quizzed me the following week.  They asked me what I whispered into their ears.  I said “sweet nothing.”

In class, there was the pressure to cheat for those that were either lazy or dumb.  They assured me that it would not hurt anything.  Looking back, I hurt them more than I helped them.

In the work place, there was the pressure to buck authority or not to work.  I received ridicule when I would work hard, while fellow employees goofed off.  They said they made just as much as I did.  I reminded them that I could face the paymaster and they needed to walk up backwards to receive their payday.

I have listened to the wrong advice through the years and the consequences are not good. Even as a pastor, there is tremendous peer pressure from within and without the church when the church is struggling.  I am reminded of my call into the ministry almost forty years ago.  During the 1980’s, people questioned the church’s relevancy.  Entertainment, gimmicks, and programs replaced preaching the Word of God. I think were are reaping those seeds today.  Back then, God made it very plain that His Word was not being preached and that I was to preach the truth.

His call is more emphatic today.  There is a shift in conventional wisdom.  It seems that the younger generation has all the answers and wants the old white-haired preachers and leadership to get out of the way.  They are even belligerent and hostile in conversation with older church members and preachers.

Good decision-making means listening to the right people.  Too many believers are listening to the enemy.  The enemy has the ear of the world and it is becoming clearer with each passing day.  Right is wrong and wrong is right if you listen to some folks.

 

President Woodrow Wilson said, “The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people.”  Good leaders encourage followers to tell them what they need to know, not what they want to hear.

 

And the king answered them roughly; and king Rehoboam forsook the counsel of the old men, and answered them after the advice of the young men, saying, My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add thereto: my father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions.  So the king hearkened not unto the people: for the cause was of God, that the Lord might perform his word (2 Chronicles 10: 13-15 KJV).

 

According to John Maxwell, Rehoboam refused to listen to history, his followers, the wise counsel of his staff, and to God.

Rehoboam heard, but did not listen and failed to connect and learn.  Rehoboam failed to listen to the right people.  I wonder if when he was a kid if his mom, Naamah, or dad, Solomon, every whupped the ‘Jewish cousin’ out of him?