I hate to admit it, but I go into panic mode
on occasion. It is said that confession
is good for the soul. I say that it is
bad for the ego. My coworkers once said
that I was Mr. Cool when trouble was raging.
What they did not know was I was just as scared as they were. I could conceal it by pretending to be in
control. If they only knew the truth!
The other day I went into panic mode and it was not a very
big event. I had driven to the local gas
station to fill my new zero turn mower with gas. As I reached to open the tank, I noticed that
the right gas cap was missing. I had
checked the gas before leaving home and that’s when the panic started.
Where was the gas cap?
A new mower and I have already lost one of the two gas caps. I can’t believe I lost a brand new cap, will
they have a new one at Slayton Brothers, will they have to order it, how long
will it take, how will I explain to Sharon how a lost the cap, where is it, how
can I keep the gas from jumping out, did that mischievous looking young man get
my cap while I was not looking, can I find it if I back track my path, did it
come off when I left the shed. . . Did I
mention I was about to panic?
After filling both tanks, I borrowed a plastic bag and
rubber band from the store clerk and temporarily stopped the hole of the missing
cap. Then in a frantic, not panic, I was
calming myself with possible answers to family, friends, the mower salesman,
for losing a gas cap. I backtracked the
quarter mile journey back to my shed.
With no gas cap, I retraced my trail back to the store. I could not enjoy the sweet fragrance of
kudzu blooms; they seemed more sickening than refreshing or reassuring. During the retracing, I saw everything a
person could imagine but no gas cap. I
turned around at the store and retraced the path back home again. Three trips and no cap.
I began a journey of panic recovery. It was silly of me to panic over a plastic
gas cap. Then, I thought of other times
I panicked. There was the time when my
son Aaron, a seven-month-old in a baby car seat locked the car door. It was December, it was cold, the car was
running, and I was trying to get to my college graduation rehearsal. I imagined the headlines: College graduate so
stupid baby dies in locked car from carbon monoxide poisoning. Yep, I panicked. I tried to find another key, I picked up a
brick to knock out the car window, I googooed and gagaed trying to get Aaron to
hit the electric lock again, and I finally decided to break into the car. I got a clothes hanger, jimmied the car door,
and pulled the lock open.
My mind continued race as I returned home and began cutting
grass. I thought about the time I could
not find the laptop I had checked out of the Samford Library. Several of us who were working on our
doctorates used laptops to take notes. I
remember having it when I got into the car for the forty-five-minute trip to
school. Where was it, did I put on the
top of the car when I loaded my books, did it fall on the driveway, did it fall
on the highway, how much will it cost, will it cost me my graduation, will they
take a credit card, will I have to work off the payment. . . All these things raced through my mind as I
frantically searched the back seat and the trunk over and over. When I finally decided to face the music by
breaking the bad news to the library, I realized the laptop was in its bag and
on my shoulder. Did you know that
laughing at yourself relieves panic?
As I giggled about the laptop, I resolved to bite the bullet
and suffer the consequences of losing a cap.
I would tell everyone that I was just a dummy. It was a trivial and insignificant loss and
could happen to anyone over age fifty.
There are more urgent matters, such as adjusting my seat. The seat belt was hung so I had to step off
the mower to make the adjustment. As I
reached between the seat and mower, there was the lost gas cap. I laughed as I said, “Thank you Jesus.” I thought that sometimes it is silly what
sends us into panic mode.
An anxious heart
weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up (Proverbs 12:25 NIV).
Cast all your anxiety
on him because he cares for you (I Peter 5:7 NIV).
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