"Just My Imagination Running Away With Me"

As a kid, I imagined that one day I would be far, far away from home during Christmas.  I do not know why I had that feeling other than it is reminiscent of some Christmas movie I watched or some tale I heard.  I often imagined that I would be returning from a war and that I would surprise mom and dad by arriving on a snowy Christmas morn.  Hey, I know it is Alabama and snow on Christmas morning would be imaginary, but remember it is my imagination and I did live in Illinois when I was in my formative years.

I think that poverty and alienation were two factors in having this Romanized fantasy.  It was a way of taking a dire situation and having hope when dealing with hopeless circumstances.

I could see myself, in uniform and duffle bag tossed across my shoulder, making my way to the old home place in Sugar Ridge.  When I watch a movie that has elements of my imaginary thoughts, tears seep from my eyes.  Part of that emotion roots in the reality that mom and dad are long gone and there will be no return home to them.  The old place lies in ruin and decay.  Rotting boards, a collapsing roof, and consuming vine tarnish memories of what was once a place of life and festivity.  Now, that place I once longed is reserved for the place of memories and mind's eye.

It only comes to life only when I write articles or tell of something that happened related to some spiritual truth I found or experienced.  Ever once and a while, I dream of returning to an old job or going back home.  It seems as though I cannot get to where I need to be.  Something or someone usually interrupts my efforts to get to my destination.  In my dream, no one seems to care that I am struggling to be at the appointed place and time.  Like some character in Alice in Wonderland, I’m late, I’m late . . .  About the time I dream that I am about to reach my destination I wakeup.

Dream interpretation says that I am struggling to reach a goal and I am frustrated because I cannot reach it.  I think that I am longing for things to be as they were in the past and trying to make restitution for past mistakes and blunders.

There are some things in the past that I would like to see again, but there is so much in the past that I am thankful is behind me.  One reason I would never like to start over again is that too hard the first time and I do not want to repeat the process.

Christmas past uproots too many unpleasant memories of having no gifts under the tree, too many weeks of dad being on layoff, and too many memories of momma crying because things were bleak, drowning out the few precious moments of Christmas past.

We look at the past and become nostalgic, we look at the present and become disillusioned, and we look at the future and become anxious.  We know what we have done in the past and we can learn, grow, and make adjustments.  We are in the process of living today because of the experience of the past and the anticipation of the future.  The future will bring new challenges along with new opportunities.

My imaginations are almost exclusively in the past, but at the same time, they are always something that I think is going to happen in the future.  Ironically, most of the places that I dream I am running late do not exist physically any longer.  They exist exclusively in my dreams and memory.

Life is short, but also funny.  Six years at this time, I was looking forward to 2013.  The number 13 is my favorite number and I just knew that it would a wonderful year.  As of today, it has not been as I had anticipated.  It has been as my dreams.  I’m trying to be somewhere and not able to get there.  There were many good events for 2013, but there was plenty in which to mourn.

I pray that as my day, Friday the 13^th  2019, comes, it will be a good day because it will be another day that the Lord has given to me.  That gives twelve days to Christmas and nineteen days to a new year.

As 2019 becomes the past, I pray we leave it behind and look forward to the journey the Lord has prepared for us.  God is always on time.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven Ecclesiastes 3:1

Remember how short my time is Psalm 89:47

But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son (Galatians 4:4a)

Merry Christmas from the Hoppers